09.26.08 SuspenderGate

Apologies, Dear Readers, for the long delay between postings.  I really wanted to share my pithy observations with you from my vacation spot in Mexico, but was prevented from doing so by roving bands of Relaxation Enforcers who kept turning off my computer and forcing me to drink beer and take naps.

Then, when I returned to Amurca this week, I joined John McCain in suspending my work so that I could help save the Republic.  Now that McCain has gone back to work, so can I!

The Stunt

As I write this, John McCain has surrendered and declared victory.

After having spent

  • the last dozen years siding with the folks who have brought you this latest Greatest Crisis Since World War Two (Russia’s invasion of Georgia having been the previous one)
  • the last year insisting that the “fundamentals” of the economy were sound (up until the beginning of last week)
  • last week blaming Barack Obama for the all that is wrong with Reality as We Know It (and, particularly, for the fact that the economy, as McCain suddenly discovered, was not so sound, after all)  . . .

McCain declared on Wednesday that it was time to put aside all partisan differences, suspend campaigning, and allow our Nation’s Big Crisis to become All About Him.

It didn’t make any difference to McCain that, in fact, Congress had been making significant progress toward a bipartisan solution.  Nor that neither he nor Obama have any role at the table where the actual legislation is being crafted.  (Not only is neither of them on the banking committee, but given McCain’s admission of how little he understands economics, what could he possibly contribute?)

Now, of course, the result of McCain’s mission is clear.  Just as Democrats warned, he managed to insert presidential campaign politics into the middle of tricky negotiations, distract the entire process, and derail the results.  (Depending on one’s perspective, it might be a good thing that no deal has been reached, but it was hardly McCain’s stated mission to be the scuttler.)

What makes this latest ploy from Ready-Fire-Aim McCain all the more infuriating is the fact that Obama had reached out to him privately on Wednesday morning to try and forge a joint statement that might, without interfering in the actual work being done, indicate their common interest in a bipartisan solution.  It was while these discussions were ongoing that McCain threw his second unilateral Hail Mary pass of the campaign.

Well, part of McCain’s trickery has clearly failed:  he announced a short while ago that, even though Obama is the Greatest Evil in History and Willing to Campaign Even During a Crisis, he (McCain) will deign to debate him.  You see, ol’ Johnny-Boy finally came face to face with the reality that two hours of prime time for Obama alone might be worse for McCain than the prospect of his (McCain’s) actually fulfilling his commitment.

By the way (just in case you hadn’t guessed), Trigger-Happy McCain never suspended his campaign at all: he and his henchmen continued to have time to appear all over television attacking Obama and continued to attend fundraisers.  Sure, a handful of attack ads ended up getting put on ice for a handful of hours today only, but the McCainiacs were careful to let all the TV stations know yesterday that the attacks were to resume tomorrow.

Just what we need in a president: a high-stakes gambler who flails about in a crisis, making impetuous decisions, and betraying negotiating partners.  Surely the Russians, Chinese, and Iranians will be impressed by that.

But wait, you progressives.  Don’t start celebrating McCain’s latest act of suicide just yet.  To read the blogs (especially mine) after the hugely irresponsible Palin pick, you’d have thought it was all over for Me-First-Country-Second McCain right then.  We were wrong.  The American people just ate up the whole Sarah Palin thing.  They loved this know-nothing creationist who celebrated teen pregnancy and could see Russia from her house.  Sure, Palin is starting to tank seriously now, but there is no doubt that the pick itself did not hurt McCain.

By the same token, it is obvious to thinking people that SuspenderGate should kill McCain for good.  But don’t forget: the American people (led by the corporate chieftains who sold them up a river and their compliant minions in the media) hate thinking.

Keep those champagne bottles well corked.

©2008 Keith Berner

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One Comment on “09.26.08 SuspenderGate”

  1. Mark Says:

    I would heed your call to keep my champagne bottle corked. But I just had to sell my champagne since my retirement savings have plummeted to a value of $47.12.

    We see today the great impact McCain had on the bailout. Glad his team was taking credit for its passage as late as this morning- oops.

    Like


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